Transforming the Guilt
Created on 12/27/2008Introduction:
1. Guilt is a concept.
2. Concepts placed hierarchically above the feeling of experience are the most common source of suffering in the human condition.
3. Someone's right is always someone's wrong – you can’t build a functional, happy, healthy entity (family, business, state, etc) based on manufactured ideas (religious, political, ethical and so on), no matter how attractive, beautiful and seductive those ideas may be. (I grew up in the Soviet Union, I know first hand).
4. The ideas, conceptual values, beliefs (including religious) are always limited and secondary in relation to the complexity of human existence. “Do not judge, so you won’t be judged” is not just a sweet metaphor but an actual indication to the direction of happiness.
5. To get there we need to break through tremendous conditioning: historical, cultural, and personal.
6. Not to get there, is not really a valuable option, because the polarization of existing ideas has reached the edge of existence. The ideas fighting in the world are now ready (and have started) to claim the lives of millions of people, unless people break down the walls of imposed limited beliefs and wake up to the new world of shared felt experience.
7. You can think about it as much as you want, it does not matter, but the true resonance happens when you just feel the common truth, the last thing to decay, and know that your feeling is connected to so many other different beautiful, magical existences in the world.
The experience of Transforming the Guilt retreat is coming…
Here it is:
I want you to go to your room in the Cliffhouse now… whatever it means for you, I ask you to do it now, with your eyes open, with your mind active and with your attention following this text, I ask part of you go inside the Cliffhouse room, part that knows how, where and why.
Whenever we experience something in one part, our whole being reflects the change and adapts to it. Whenever one of us is able to experience healing, transformation, evolution, the rest of us adapts to this change and the whole becomes different. Maybe that’s why we were able to get this far as human being, all together saved and protected by known and unknown men and women who had made efforts to break through pain and reach the best in their nature and beyond so we can all adapt and change and evolve.
You can do it too. I am asking you to let part of your inner space provide you with safety and refuge needed so you can transform the guilt you still carry on. Before the guilt destroys you. Because I believe this is the goal that guilt has in your life. Guilt is sustained in your reality because of addiction to pain. Not much more, but not much less either. Addiction is a self-feeding, self-serving force, and addiction to pain is a tricky, hidden one. We need to pay attention to it now to become liberated.
Please know that the guilt that we are going to transform is a manufactured one. Most often it is guilt manufactured by tricky pain so pain can use the repeated sense of guilt as a vehicle to promote itself. Again and again. Like a child feeling guilty in her parents divorce or child feeling guilty in his father’s death. Unless that child intentionally arranged poisoning his/her father or hired and bribed a divorce lawyer, the guilt is not real, it is manufactured by the pain of loss. And it is time to let it go.
If you stayed with me that far, it would be easy for you to make that step and release your guilt and transform its space. If you feel ambivalent, don’t go any further, read something else.
If you stay, I want you to look around in this room of yours. The inner space corresponds with the outer space. And there is a mirror on the wall in your Cliffhouse room, antique, heavy, with large cool surface. You can see it on the background somewhere, you just don’t look into it. Just let yourself feel the presence of this old mirror in your space. You don’t guess what memories have accumulated inside the mirror over years. You leave it to your Memorymaker, the designer child within, to know that much. All I ask you to do is to let your old fixed painful feelings of guilt to be released from your heart and to be placed behind the mirror surface. You don’t have to do anything, just let your guilt go entirely, whatever shape and form it may take. You don’t have to know. It is as if you deposited an envelop, or a photograph, or a recorded disk inside the mirror, with the help of your Memorymaker so your experience is not lost but safely replaced where it belongs better. Out of your heart. As you leave your guilt in the space behind the mirror, take all the lessons from the pain of feeling guilty so you can move on where you are supposed to go. You can do all of it unconsciously, your waking mind doesn’t have to comprehend the details, explanations, expectations. There are no expectations. You just opened your internal space for new experience and you let the pain go, because it was pain dressed up as guilt and once in a while in the next few weeks you may feel sad, deeply, profoundly sad and it’s okay. It is grieving the loss, but there is no more need for guilt and there is no more guilt. You only will notice something new coming to your life, something opposite to pain, something that will make you feel happy, alive, child-like again, free of worry and full of hope. You have cleared enough space to invite happiness.
And, like I said, whenever one of us is able to experience healing, transformation, evolution, the rest of us adapts to this change and the whole becomes different. You just did.
03/11/09.
Love,
Olga
Comments
Dear Olga,
Besides being a concept, as you say, guilt is also a most dramatical reality. It’s what makes all the difference between a more or less healthy human being and a psychopath.
Hardened criminals or fundamentalists of every persuasion experience no guilt: that’s precisely what allows them to go on hurting innocent people.
Stalin, for instance (or Hitler, to name just two very notorious characters) most probably never experienced guilt, don’t you think?
I think you should clarify what you meant by ‘’Guilt is a concept’’, otherwise many readers might get very confused.
All my best wishes for this New Year !
Julio
By Julio on 01/05/2009Hi Olga,
What a wonderful way to open us up to ourselves, with all of the power guilt has. I look forward to this seminar.
Love Keith
By Keith Newcomb on 01/05/2009Dear Olga
“Do not judge, so you won’t be judged” was said by Jesus, as noted in Saint Matthew’s gospel, chapter 7. He also spoke up against the ritual aspects of religion. When the religious leaders criticised his followers for not ritualistically washing their hands before eating he pointed out that what defiles a human being is not what goes into the mouth but what comes out of the mouth from the heart. Certainly I have feelings of guilt which come from the heart and I very much look forwards to your comments.
Love
David
Hi Olga,
i think I understand in some way what you are saying above. That we all are so limited in our thinking because we have only our experiences to compare the rest of the earthlings and their ideas/concepts with.
At this time I am deeply involved in the way of getting to my true selfes needs. And something seems to get clearer and clearer. Practising Reiki intensely with beloved friends seems to help a great deal to open up the heart and see things more clearly. I am constantly questioning existing religions and systems. Coming from a catholic family background and also being born in starsign pieces with tendencies to turn everything upside down, gives me much reason to try things in different ways. I believe very deeply:
Everybody needs the freedom to follow the heart. But then naturally some people go well together with their ideas and clash with others.
The human has some kind of fault in the brain software - that’s how it looks like comically spoken. why do we always need to make clear, that our ideas are right and others are wrong? Part of it clearly is, that we don’t want to be pushed around by others.
But the human is a herd animal; some weird species that wants to be part of a group but also experience full individuality. Very difficult task, you gods!!! 
In my opinion global businessmaking and trying to rule the whole of humanity with similar squared concepts is killing the true human spirit.
My idea would be to form smaller living groups of people and animals and spirits. To get back to some values of close connection with food, housing and people to live more purely connected with the land.
All the great things and achievements could be integrated ( internet, transportation and other stuff) in sensible ways.
Well this is just a bit bla bla about what I am going to do very soon with my “chosen family”.
Some other people will do the same and hopefully
the true global connection between us all can start taking place step by step.
I fully believe, that fear of any kind is not a useful tool to face everyday living. Guilt is somehow connected to fear. I can’t quite grab in what ways exactly. But it’s being cooked in the same old pot of disconnection.
And since I started to let go, more and more things and connection with people seem to become richer, special and loving.
I hope that my writing was understandable somehow.
You are certainly not alone, Olga. I hope you never forget how important and special your writinig is for all of us. And when it get’s tough for you - please connect and we all are there with you.
with love,
jaybee
Hello Olga,
I find it difficult to clearly distinguish between feelings of guilt, and conscience within myself.... I am really looking forward to reading, “The experience of Transforming the Guilt”.
I also agree with Jaybee, “I hope you never forget how important and special your writinig is for all of us.”
Magali.
By Magali on 01/17/2009Hi Olga,
I just want to share my recent experience here.
I look on your site every day and also I am
slowly reading your first book again because I
know I need to keep in touch with the magic that
is happening here.When I read all the postings
from everyone I can see all the trust we have in
you.
So I was just going to bring a problem here,just
write it and know that just in doing that it will help.
I was just going to write of how my mother died
when I was twelve and how quite soon afterwards
my mind began to change. The world slowly became
no more than a film I was watching.The world
became nothing more than a cardboard cut out.
Whoever I was, that being was disolving into
nothing in a very frightening way.I told no-one.
I had heard bad stories about psychiatric treatment.So I suffered over years and somehow
coped and as I got older I invented some sort
of reality which worked as long as I didnt push
its borders.So anyway in my mind I had already
put these writings to you.
Then this morning out of nowhere I am lying in bed
and get the powerful memory of being a child again.Im in an old shop that sells flowers.I loved going there with my mother.The lovely colours and exotic smells. Now in the moment I
am truly there again and it floods back.Im holding
her hand again right now and I know there is no
death.Its a speeded up warm flower growing inside.Its a river that has been frozen for over
forty years now melting.You can imagine how much
emotion there is in this!
So now I go and look outside at the sky.Its blue
and sunny and even now hints of spring.And I can
see right up high the vapour trail of a plane
going somewhere exotic and somehow that has a deep
meaning.
THANKYOU !
Love
Graham
By Graham on 01/20/2009Dear Olga
and Graham! I was very moved by your writing about shame, Olga and also what Graham bravely wrote about with his own experience. My mother died when I was ten after a long battle with cancer. I have never quite got over losing her and I can see the ripple effects of that trauma in how I deal with my life now. I had never considered that shame may have been (or is) a factor in my own pain, but when I think back, my biggest problem then was how I related to my peers at school. I was picked on and bullied and this served to make me very mistrusting of people in general, and I became introverted and over-sensitive. I was also furious that my father, who suffers from manic depression, couldn’t protect me or at least be supportive. He told me to fight back, which seemed like a ludicrous idea when faced with a gang of 5 or more tormentors. I swallowed all the taunts and internalized my father’s advice as evidence of my failing in his eyes. Of course, there’s the shame! And Graham, I completely understand what you are talking about when you say you changed as a person. I remember not being in touch with the world, I had made a clear choice to withdraw my feelings and instead look through the thick tank-glass of my internal bubble. I had powerful dreams that my mother was alive again and the terrible grief of waking up and realizing it wasn’t true. That technique of “withdrawing” has given me more problems in my later life in the form of depression, and not being able to feel ... anything… or connect deeply with anybody. Finding your books Olga and now this website has coincided with a real change for me. I made a decision to pursue my deepest desire, so I left my job and concentrated on doing my artwork. It’s the best choice I ever made, because slowly, slowly I have been able to reconnect with myself, heal some of those wounds and I find myself on an amazing path filled with wonder, magic and light. It’s still not easy, but I recognize your feelings, Graham , of a frozen river melting. Interestingly, I happened to try something I read about in “Entering the Circle”. I think this may have been the advice of my memory maker: I put together a series of photos of myself at various key moments in my life, going backwards in time till the last picture I had of myself as a baby. I took time to look at them one by one and remember how I felt at the time the photos were taken. What I experienced surprised me. First of all I realized how many truly happy moments I have had in my life. This was tremendously comforting and energizing. I also felt, I mean really understood and comprehended, how much love my mother and my father had and have for me, this allowed me to forgive my father and remember the childhood happiness of being with my mother.
Big things happen, so thank you Olga and thank you Graham. It means a lot to share and make these discoveries together.
Love
Ax
http://www.axartworks.com
Dear Olga ,
and all of you.. I sometimes feel this intense emotional pain and now is one of these moments.My heart hurts the most and I can’t concentrate ,the past is constantly in my mind.I think about things my stepmother has said and done and I can’t stop discussing with her in my head,trying to make things right.I so much want everyone to like me.It is hard that she doesn’t think I have good motives.I feel like she has taken my father away from me and shut me out of the family.While telling everyone how bad I am not to come and visit more often.I feel guilty about that,my stomach churns the way it did almost my whole childhood as my parents fought over me and my stepmother judged me.I must say she did good things too.But I’ve had some very hard experiences with her.It was an impossible situation ,to please everyone as I tried.I still can’t write “my story” in a way that feels coherent and cathartic.There are so many different stories it seemes,it’s hard to keep the thread.Basically I feel no self love and I am very ashamed about who I am.I always hide my feelings.I am afraid of getting hurt.I obviously repress a lot because I am still confused,but not as much as when I was 20.11 years have passed and much healing has taken place.I now have enough confidence to live on my own and be financially independent .But so many painful things have passed between me and the people I love and have loved -how can I ever heal? I was transported spontanuosly to my room in the Cliffhouse as I was taking a nap some time ago and every detail in the room was very very clear,like watching a movie.And then a shadow with a very feminine feel to her approached me ,embraced me and started to cry violently as I held her.Then I woke up.I don’t really understand what it means.I feel like I complain a lot now but this is how it feels now and I have to write it here.With a hope of getting better.I have such a bad self-esteem.I feel like I’m disgusting and that the world would be better without me.Everything is so hard,so difficult.I really don’t see any sense in living.But this will all pass and I will feel well again.When I was 20 this feeling was on all the time.I just wandered around the city without any goal.University seemed meaningless to me and I could not concentrate.I strongly disliked the academic approach which wasn’t the plan at all since I and everyone around me excpected me to become a very well-studied person.Instead I got depressed and first of all very confused.I don’t miss all that wandering around.I have discovered a different way of living,where I use all my senses and I believe to some exctent also my magical abilities.Yes ,definetly my magical abilities.I know that to identify myself with my source and not my problems is the key.And for times like this-when the demons have me in their possession-I try to surrender the pain to the Goddess.The pain is horrible,I really understand people who try to escape it.Maybe my pain is very light compared to what others have to endure. I know it doesn’t
help to escape.I feel privileged to have come this far and to have received so much help on the way.
By the way,the movie “Black snake moan” desribes very well that feeling of being caught by some automatic energy-imprint that just sucks you in and comes right out of the blue.In my case I just don’t yet understand what my main trauma is.It feels like there are many and I can’t see them.I know there probably is just one.I can’t write my story yet.Thank you for the previous stories ,it was a healing experience to read them.
Love,
Monika
Master of lucid dreaming is a most interesting book. Is the story a fairytale built on selfexperience? Or maybe it doesnt matter. I do however feel like Ivé gotten the same calming feeling from it as when I read Herman Hesse or Paulo Coelho. This meditation techniques, are they spread in the western world? do you know if anyone teaching theese techniques in sweden ?
By Joe on 02/21/2009Hi, Monika and Joe
If you go to http://www.beliefnet.com you’ll find there some very good resources to start a meditation practice. In my own experience, keeping it as simple as possible is the best approach.
All best wishes,
Julio
Thank you, Olga, so much for this. I’ve been checking in on the site every now and then over the last few weeks to see if the ‘Transforming the Guilt’ retreat was ready. But not seeing a new post this morning, I decided to re-read this one. And to my great delight realised you must have added it here earlier today! (There is something about the way you manage the site that I like very much: it is full of unexpected surprises; things appear unannounced and one has to be attentive to find them – it’s a bit like life, in fact).
By James Souttar on 03/11/2009This is a surprising day indeed, James 
I also check the site regularly, and if it weren’t for your comment today I would have missed Olga’s post :(
Tricky Olga
All best wishes,
Julio
By Julio on 03/11/2009Dear Olga,
Thanks!
Julio
By Julio on 03/11/2009Amazing! Thank you for your help.
By Cobus Hechter on 03/12/2009Since arriving in my Cliffhouse room again (and again), following with care the suggestions of your thoughts, I have experienced some profound and life-changing sensations, all related to the ancient accumulation of pain and agony. The accompanying realizations bring a whole new sense of hope and freedom, as I have not known before.
A feeling of lightness prevails, and the flow of energy has changed so much that I feel a much deepened grasp of reality. It is this sense of progress that makes me wonder at what else may be possible with the wise arrangement of our inner spaces?
I realize now that I have carried the pain in my heart, which has so crippled my capacity for real happiness in the many moments of each day. It seems I was afraid I might lose the pain and it’s lessons if I did not hold it there. Now I know that there are better and much more appropriate places to store the traumas of life. It’s just a matter of going to my ancient mirror and using the memory selection menu (like on a TV screen .. smile) ... all safely and practically stored away for ready reference whenever needed!
What an amazing step to take ... thank you from my happy heart, Olga!
By Cobus Hechter on 03/15/2009I have been thinking about guilt.
If we have some traumatic experience happen to
us are we feeling guilt for it ?
In some societies from the past and now people
believe that if some disaster happens they are
being punished by their gods.
I can sometimes get that feeling that when
things go badly wrong its like some unknown
force is doing that.
Love
Graham
Hello,
I’d like to tell you about an experience I had last week.There wasn’t much happening and it’ll be difficult to describe,but I’ll try.
I was taking the ferry going from Oslo to another place,crossing the fjord.I went out on the deck and I was struck with how close the few clouds were and how I could see the stars on the other side of them.Suddenly I felt that this planet is my home,really had a realization of it ,and I could sense its warmth even if it was quite cold outside.I felt a deep affection and gratitude for my home.And then I looked towards the city and I didn’t feel the alienation I usually feel when I look at Oslo ,no,I felt how the city was a product of something collective,like spirits were responsible for it,like there were spirits everywhere-in the electric lights,the tall buildings,it didn’t feel human but collective. Again-it’s difficult to find the right words.The time aspect seemd strange in this context too,irrelevant in a way. Another boat went by ,all I could see was the silhouettes of the people sitting in it under the open air .And again I got this strange collective feeling ,like we ,and earth and everything in it are really just one big,...life? Everything around me was slightly surreal-childlike,fairytale-like -and yet so much more real than when seen from the mental perspective.I was definetely seeing the world from my heart or even from my body.It was all very unexplaiable and yet it made sense in a way I haven’t felt before.And I perceived the whole mental aspect of humanity -the labeling and cathegorizing part-to be completely absurd,Matrix-like. It didn’t seem real.
The strange thing is that I now feel I could be able to study again.I really want a good ,interesting job that can give me more stability and independence than I have now and I know I have a gift for counseling people so I’ve applied for the psychology profession-course.This was unthinkable only a month ago.All I wanted was to be an actress and an artist.I’m not giving up on that but I am not so scared of living a “normal” life anymore.I don’t want to escape from my family circumpstances anymore,I want to take part in my own life.I always thought that if
I wanted to be happy I had to move to another country.Maybe that’s not true. I’ll do what I have to do to reclaim my space.I want to be a part of society again,even if most people don’t perceive life the way I do.And that’s ok.I think I can have more compassion for peple now,rather than just being afraid of being attacked.
So thank you Olga ,for this tremendous opportunity for healing. I really feel as if space has been freed in my heart so I can think and act upon more of all the beautiful opportunities that life offers me.
I do feel that being in a relationship could be possible again ,and yes,there is a lot of fear in me concerning rejection and all of that,but it’s..fine. The ice has started to melt,I can feel it.
So thank you again,Olga,from all my heart ,for what you do for all of us.
Love,
Monika
Thank you Olga,
How intelligent is your writing on the subject of guilt. How wonderful is your method of eliminating it. I am astounded and I am sure that I will mourn some moment, but i feel relieved, inredible relieved. Thank You
Herman
By Herman Roes on 12/13/2009Gratitude!
I went to a dear friend’s house yesterday and as I was leaving I asked her to lend me a book that would really “blow me away”. I’ve felt quite “stuck” lately. She gave me “Master of Lucid Dreams”. Shamanism has always been at the core of my growth as a person and my healing processes.
Well, I never expected this. I have cried as I hadn’t in a long time, grateful for every liberating tear, grateful to feel the pains, the patters, the demons that still haunt my life and stop me from doing what I came to do in this beautiful Garden called Earth. Grateful because I have no intention to carry them for much longer at all and the tools you share are already at work. A new door has opened.
Thank you, from my heart Olga, for your work, with the deepest respect to the ancient tradition you share, which has stepped into my home, and more, into my heart. Or did I step into it?
I have a huge smile on my face, knowing that in a few moments I may be crying like a baby. But I am ready to allow those tears to transform into sweet, nourishing drops of pure light!
Gracias!
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