What makes us weak can make us stronger
Created on 04/02/2009I am talking about our relationships with other people here. Not about specific individual situations we encounter through life, not about attachments, not even about losses. I want us to contemplate a bit on the duality system that we are, on two ends of the scale that balance our existence. It is us versus them. It is me versus the rest of the world. We grow internally through constant strife to obtain this balance between our sense of self and the world’s expectation for ourselves. The usual representatives of this world’s judgment are our parents, relatives, classmates, people we see on TV, people we learn about in school, cultural heroes, renown personalities, and the rest of them who bombard the window to our souls with flyers, advertisements, threats, and temptations in a constant fight to win over our mind and to make the child that we are to accept their, and only their, way of life, thought, and experience. So we forget who we are, and we start thinking that we really are a set of beliefs, values, expectations presented to us by all these people, and then the scale tips, the world’s impact outweighs our knowing of ourselves, the balance is lost and we feel the void and start striving to regain the balance again. That makes us weak. That makes us dependent on somebody else’s opinions, on somebody else’s definitions of what is good and what is bad, what’s right and what’s wrong as if our heart didn’t know it and we have to be told how to be.
But because we grow internally through constant strife to obtain this balance between our sense of self and the world’s expectation for ourselves, we refuse to settle, for the most part. We keep looking for what is lost, we feel the need to be balanced because we instinctively know that without this internal balance, there is no possibility for real happiness. So we keep looking, but we keep looking outside, going deeper and deeper into the labyrinth of external influences, walking away from the true hero inside toward this monster who lives in the center of the labyrinth, this unnatural creature, manufactured collectively through all the identities that other people have given up to feed this monster whose favorite food is our memory about ourselves. So it keeps growing, it gets stronger because we are getting weaker by sacrificing the memory of who we are to the collective monster of complacency. And the labyrinth of external illusions grows too, occupies more space, recruits more empty personalities to promote its fake value, so we walk further and further away from the hero within.
Sounds pretty grim. And it is it. But as always, there are good news, too.
The balance can shift any time, at any moment. The weight of the world’s illusions is illusory and not that heavy to be overcome. Sometimes we can do it with the tip of a finger, so the scale moves and we are back to remembering ourselves and the world has little choice but to accept that. And that makes us stronger. The very relationships we have with other people, when the balance is on our side, will stop taking away our power of being who we are and will give us what we need to grow. We just need to come out of this monstrous labyrinth waved by conditioning. And to do that we need help.
Remember Ariadne’s story, the golden thread, the monster and the labyrinth? I want us to ask her, Ariadne, to help us out of the labyrinth of our illusions, I want us to ask her to guide us back home, so we can be balanced again, so what makes us weak can make us stronger. And I have a pretty good feeling that she is willing to help us out. I invite you to Ariadne’s room in Virtual Retreats and see what happens there.
Love,
Olga
Comments
Thank you, Olga - the timing of your thoughts seem to be woven by knowing hands of the greater caring community.
The tentacles of maya, illusion, reach into every sphere of our lives, and I find it a daily task to clear the dust and cobwebs of maya from thoughts ... thoughts that need to drive forward my striving for real freedom and knowledge.
Your help is priceless.
By Cobus Hechter on 04/05/2009Hello Olga,
Thank you for sharing your knowledge and insights here on Cliffhouse.
I came in touch with your work by Fransje Bik who taught me and is still
teaching me the depth of your work. Learning all people who come to her your teaching: restore time, reclaim space, replenish energy and redefine identity.
I ‘am astounded by the intelligence of your work. Reading it and reading it again reveals the deeper contents and wisdom of your writings. So thank you for sharing your knowledge. I will certainly return to Cliffhouse to read and learn more.
Kind regards
Herman
By Herman Roes on 04/06/2009Dear Olga,
I do understand so well your thoughts in this latest story. I often wondered why humans embrace the deceiving, fake monster outside and fear looking within – this does not happen to only a few people but to most of us. I realized that this monster in which we all have a role to play offers an illusion of power as well as an illusion of stability. Our role within the fake monster is a prison for our soul, but a prison which makes itself desired as it is part of a system of power – we should realize though that that power is not ours to use but is the power of the monster.
At the same time this roll is a comfortable place – is a situation that even though it hurts on a certain level it provides an illusion of stability – an illusion of reality and rationality – this doll or role that we inhabit lives in a simple world, trusted to function following some objective rules – is an illusory place where we rest until becoming more aware, until learning to handle our true nature. When we have the ability to step outside the role and see it from that outside space, it appears so painfully shallow, like a number of gestures and actions that try so not skillfully to say something, it is built on deceit, so fake and shallow – it really hurts!
On a certain level I believe that the monster as well as the role are not seen as real – humans half-believe them, but participate in this game for it offers a protection from the vastness of our own nature – we live in this shallow world until our spirit awakens and becomes strong enough to embrace the vastness and the beauty. Time will come, I trust, when as children growing we will have to let go of Santa, objective laws, stable surface – and at that time we shall dance the music of our souls, from which now we shy away as its beauty is so painfully Real.
Love,
Florentina
“That makes us dependent on somebody else’s opinions, on somebody else’s definitions of what is good and what is bad, what’s right and what’s wrong as if our heart didn’t know it and we have to be told how to be.”
Absolutely! So much of the suffering I have encountered in my own life has been the result of a very real inner striving for Being coming in contact with the mandatory, imposed cultural beliefs, identities and values. And everything not mandatory, was obligatory! On one hand, everyone I know and love as a child is telling me one thing (often through no fault of their own, unless conditioned ignorance is a sin), and on the other hand, I have an incredible pull to a world deemed ‘illusory’ at worse, and ‘imaginary’ at best. All the decisions in my life were the result of the constant labor to synthesis these seemingly incongruent worlds in a way which couldn’t disappoint the one, and wouldn’t extinguish the other. The hard earned result was a valuation completely relative to my own evolution, to my own self; to that double-ended stick itself on which our dual nature exists. I can’t afford to be either one nature, or the other, for my possibilities exist in the synthesis of the two. Truly,
“… walking away from the true hero inside toward this monster who lives in the center of the labyrinth, this unnatural creature, manufactured collectively through all the identities that other people have given up to feed this monster whose favorite food is our memory about ourselves.”
Besides from being a frightfully beautiful description of our Inner Evil God, I think you’ve well described the atmosphere and terrain of our inner struggle. The battle itself does not exist on a wide-open field, with rolling green hills and enchanted mists (not for me, at least!), but inside the labyrinth of our own mind--constructed with the stones of our beliefs, and the mortar of our fear. We must come to know these streets better than the occupying forces, and then begin. I remember that as a child, I was very fond of drawing intricate labyrinths with my brother. We would always try to create one that was more complicated than the last, but it was not long before we realized how to always win; simply hold right, or hold left, but never change directions. However, it can be very difficult to do that with ourselves—to simply stand vigilant with ourselves, witnessing our behavior, without trying to change it. We always try to “do,” to “figure things out” and worst of all, “change for the best.” It’s bad enough that we constantly react to the world around us, but until we stop reacting to ourselves, we can’t be sure that our “doing” is not the masterful puppeteering of this amalgam monster. By changing nothing, we stand in a perfect position to learn about ourselves and our habits; our impulses. But valuing the kind of inner friction that this relationship on ourselves creates is another matter, and I think that valuing, that worth-ship or worshipping, can only come through having a sense, or even a taste, of one’s own inevitable disintegration through entropy.
“We just need to come out of this monstrous labyrinth waved by conditioning. And to do that we need help.”
We really do. As I’ve come to discover through many nights of useless suffering and heartbreak, help doesn’t come to those who need it—it comes to those who will use it. She is always there for us, silently for she is too gentle to shout, waiting for the moment that we stop screaming and flailing our arms and open our eyes ... we are swimming in an infinite ocean of love 
I can’t wait until your next post, Olga, but I suppose it’s better to take time with quality—it seems every stick has two ends, after all!
By Benjamin G on 05/04/2009Thanks Olga!
Now I have a question to you and everyone reading this. What should I do when I find no more guilt inside, no more shame, but the pain inside just grows and grows and all I can do is cry? When for all I can understand it is just plain old loneliness - an alone mother who’s sons are growing up and leaving an empty home behind. What I cannot understand is how I can feel content with life one week and completely shattered the next. I know my ancestors want me to heal myself, but I can’t find a way, it is all just pain. My own feeling is that I just have to go through this pain until I have accepted my situation. It is sadness with being alone, and it has to be faced.
I just want to share this hopeless feeling with you because perhaps someone can see something in it.
By Marie Byström on 06/26/2009To Marie~ Your comments remind me of a beautiful poem. I feel that any attempt of mine to speak to your pain would nominalize it, so I will leave this for you and wish you all the best. When you are ready to experience ‘the next thing,’ I know that you will.
“Love Dogs” by Jalal Al-Din Rumi, Translated by Coleman Barks.
One night a man was crying,
Allah! Allah!
His lips grew sweet with the praising,
until a cynic said,
“So! I have heard you
calling out, but have you ever
gotten any response?”
The man had no answer to that.
He quit praying and fell into a confused sleep.
He dreamed he saw Khidr, the guide of souls,
in a thick, green foliage.
“Why did you stop praising?”
“Because I’ve never heard anything back.”
“This longing
you express is the return message.”
The grief you cry out from
draws you toward union.
Your pure sadness
that wants help
is the secret cup.
Listen to the moan of a dog for its master.
That whining is the connection.
There are love dogs
no one knows the names of.
Give your life
to be one of them.
Hi Marie
I don´t know if this helps you. I don´t know if its right to say this. It did help for me. I did experience loneliness,sadness about it, so strong was the pain. One evening i did let all come inside of me, so heavy and so thick, I thought I will shatter in pieces, but when it was too much to handle anymore,I just did let it all come like a big wave.
It was the point all pain was gone.
I experienced something that logical mind can´t explain. Im just saying that dont be afraid to face your pain, it cant harm you.
By Jari on 07/19/2009Dear Benjamin and Jari,
thanks for your beautiful messages to me! It makes my heart so warm to read them! I agree, Benjamin, that my pure sadness that needs help is the secret cup. And yet - your replies to me through the ether, unknown hearts speaking to another unknown heart - this is a wonder of the Universe! Jari, I fully agree - we need to let the fullness of our pain enter us and fully accept it. It is only then we are healed. It happened to me also and today I feel I am very much part of this amazing world we live in. Thanks Benjamin and Jari, much love,
Marie
By Marie Byström on 09/15/2009Dear Olga, Marie ,Benjamin and Jari
In reaction on ‘What makes us weak can make us stronger’ I write you all, to express my feelings, and to let you know how much joy of recognition the cliffhouse-communications are to me.
Thank you all so much. Please go on. Love Carine
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